


Merry Christmas

by meyghasa



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-14
Updated: 2011-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-27 08:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meyghasa/pseuds/meyghasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Tumblr user chica-cha in conjunction with a fanmix for the 2011 DA Secret Santa exchange!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Christmas

Hawke loved Christmas. In the past it would have brought up all kinds of unhappy memories: his father’s absence, the loss of his sister in the car accident, the death of their mother a few years later to cancer, his brother being shipped overseas only a year after joining the Marines. His mother had made Christmas magical even after it was just the two of them, she and Hawke with a plastic tree and mugs of homemade hot chocolate and clumsily wrapped presents from him and crisp, neat packages from her. After she was gone - it had been fast at least, and for that he was thankful - he lost the holiday spirit.

But then Anders happened.

Their meeting was a perfect storm, both of them finding the other just when they needed to. He was grieving his mother and Andy was dealing with his own issues by putting in long hours at the animal clinic where they would eventually meet when Hawke’s dog Barkley abruptly stopped eating. Hawke was struck by Andy’s magnificent nose and sad smile and Andy had fallen for Hawke’s sharp sense of humor and piercing brown eyes.

It started with a series of clinic visits to ensure Bradley was okay, which he eventually was. Hawke probably took Barkley in more often than strictly necessary, pleading concern for his dog even if there were other, as yet undiscovered, reasons for his diligence. Clinic visits turned into a coffee meeting; Hawke refused to call it a date. One coffee meeting turned into two, then three, then dinner, then a Saturday at the zoo, and before they realized it they were an Item with a capital I.

Both of them moved slow. They needed to, just to make sure they were okay. Hawke couldn’t be sure he wasn’t just lonely now that he was alone, and Andy couldn’t be sure he wasn’t looking for an outlet that didn’t involve work. They laughed about it later, all those missteps and unnecessary waiting for something that, later, just seemed inevitable.

After a year, Andy had more clothes in Hawke’s dresser than his own and Hawke had started thinking of it as “our bed” instead of “mine.” He still didn’t ask. He wasn’t sure how, honestly, to do it. It took Andy hinting - well, more than hinting, but sometimes it took a brick to the skull for Hawke to understand pesky things as feelings - that he spent more time at Hawke’s condo than in his sparse apartment in the shady part of town.

Andy and his two cats then became a permanent fixture in Hawke’s life, and though perhaps Hawke wouldn’t quite say so out loud - Andy was the emotional one, full of poetry and romance and, on occasion, dramatics - he admitted quietly, when no one else was around to hear him, that the spacious living quarters were decidedly warmer with their combined presence.

Importantly, Andy loved Christmas. Though he had in the past lacked the means to make a big spectacle of it, his enthusiasm eventually wore off on Hawke. It started with a string of white lights around the picture window in the living room, put up while Hawke was out running errands. When this was met with no resistance, a wreath went up on the front door. After still no complaint, Andy commented, in as offhand a way as he could manage, that that spot right there would be perfect for a tree. They had gone to the tree farm the following day; no more plastic, in honor of the Decembers spent with Hawke’s family whole. Andy and Hawke had decorated it together with crookedly hung ornaments in various bright reds and greens and silver. They ended up taking the garland off when the cats insisted on making it a delicious snack.

That was two years ago. Two years later, Hawke was no better at openly expressing his feelings, no matter how much his heart swelled when he came home to find Andy lounging on the couch with a cup of tea and a book wearing one of Hawke’s oversized sweaters. But it was December, Christmas fast approaching, and even though he had other ideas for actual gifts, he had something else this time.

He shut the front door behind him and nudged Barkley aside with one leg, his other hand held behind his back. Andy looked up from his book and smiled. “There you are. I thought maybe you’d been eaten by wild dogs.”

“Not this time. I had to run to the office for… for.” Hawke trailed off, gesturing uselessly with his free hand. Andy quirked an expressive eyebrow as Hawke wandered over to the couch and sat down facing him, his hand still firmly behind him. He chewed on his bottom lip, and Andy didn’t push, sorely as he was tempted.

“You know I’m not one for making speeches,” Hawke began, looking every bit as awkward as he felt. “So god knows I’m going to get this all wrong. But I just… I mean, you know how I feel about you. Obviously. But I just… I feel like maybe this was meant to be, or something.” He laughed. “That sounds ridiculous, I know. But it’s like we met once before, a long time ago, and this all played out different but the same. Maybe in a past life or something, I don’t know.” He stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This does sound ridiculous.”

Andy put a hand on his knee and smiled encouragingly. That was all Hawke needed.

“I just mean that whatever happened, whatever brought us together, I’m glad it happened. Because… I love you, you know.” He had said it before, of course, many times over the course of the years, but this time was different and they both knew it. “So I made you something.”

Finally, the hidden hand came forward. The square of plastic wasn’t wrapped, instead holding only one white bow pressed to the center of the front. Andy took it, inspecting the front. The CD case held a printed cover shoved inside, a picture of the two of them taken the Christmas before. Flipping it over revealed pictures of the two of them, one above the other, both smiling in their different ways, and a track list.

“I hope you like it,” Hawke said hesitantly as Andy walked over to the stereo and slid the CD into the player.

“Hush,” Andy said as he walked back over to the couch. He sat right next to Hawke, their knees touching, and pulled him into his arms. They sat, Hawke’s head resting on Andy’s shoulder, as the music filled the air, and Hawke knew that this time, as bad as he was at speechmaking, it was worth it.


End file.
